Sunday, January 25, 2009

First Entry

It is currently 12:30 AM and I can't sleep... My husband, Jeff and dog, Bebe are sound asleep and me? Well I'm wide awake! For the past 2 weeks I haven't been able to sleep very good. I lie there and lie there tossing and turning crying out, "Please dear God let me sleep!" The first week I prayed, "Please Lord I pray that You would put my mind to rest and allow me to sleep." And well...nothing still bug eyed and awake! Then the second week my prayer changed, "Dear Lord what are you keeping me awake for? Do I need to pray for someone? Do I need to get up and read Your Word? Hmmmm no answer... So I continued day after day to battle with the endless nights that turned into exhausting mornings. 
As I continued to pray throughout the nights I felt God whispering in my ear to write. But write about what? I asked. "Just write," He told me. So here I am a writer only by God's choosing. You see all my life I have understood science. It's simple and for the most part unchanging. I mean our bodies don't all of a sudden one day grow an extra bone. I understood science and figured that my life would always be centered around it. Well that was the case until 3 years ago when God put me through the most difficult test of faith. He stripped all desire of science and decided He wouldn't let me control EVERY aspect of my life anymore! 
But He was silent with what I should do next. I yelled and screamed and through the biggest mental tantrum for a month. "God I don't understand why would You have me waist so much time taking these courses for nothing?" Then came the conviction... "You never asked Me what I wanted you to do." Bam! it hit me like a ton of bricks! I never asked God what He wanted for my life. But now I seek His guidance and His guidance has placed me in the path of Photojournalism. 
He has taken a girl that could barely pass her english courses and turned her into a published writer and photographer. When doubt overwhelms my mind I turn to God's comfort in 1 Peter 1:6-7 "So truly be glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 
So as the Midnite Chronicles continue I will continue to seek the Lord's guidance. It is my prayer and hope through these chronicles that it would be an encouragement to someone else searching for God's voice too.